How do you know if there is a scuba diver in the room?

Just wait 5 minutes (or less)
He wears a watch that would put a Navy Aviator to shame, and it beeps to tell everyone he's got it
He wears a Jack Cousteau red beanie
He sports a Shark Tooth necklace that he'd picked up in Guam
He shows you the old wounds from the critters he's got over the mantlepiece back home
He's got every piece of equipment that you have and then some
He's been bent, narced, and shot at in more dive spots than you can imagine
He's been technical advisor on every underwater movie since Sea Chase
He's an ex-SEAL and Halo diver
He'd love to invite you out on his boat but it's still being serviced after that New Years bash
He leaves a puddle in the bathroom - bad diving habit he picked up during cold water diving
He leaves you with the Bar/ Restaurant bill
He's got a permanent mask imprint on his face
His wardrobe is denim, denim, denim/ 3mil, 5mil and formal dry suit
His car carries stickers like 'Old divers Suck'
He sports a tattoo he picked up in the Phillipines (usually rude or gung ho)
He tells you that he goes to the same workout gym as Arnie and learned Kung Fu from Bruce
He will always have seen bigger, faster sharks than you can wave a snorkel at

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